Sunday, Bloody Sunday

This past Sunday I attended a worship service I am sure I wont forget for quite awhile. This service marked the first time, that I can recall, that I was absolutely and completely shut down emotionally and spiritually by the goings-on in front of me.

At the beginning of the service a video was shown, and as it began I was quite confused. "Oh, "I thought, its Abraham Lincoln, maybe today's sermon will ..... no wait no Ghandi's on the screen and the pastor is reciting the words written. Next comes Martin Luther King. My boyfriend whispered, " i wonder if Jesus is next?" and he was right. As soon as Christ was on the screen my heart dropped and I couldnt believe my eyes. The pastor got to the front of the sanctuary and did big arms yelling " OUR HERO LIVES!!" The entire audience, I mean congregation, erupted into cheers and clapping. I looked around for the concessions guy so I could buy a beer.

Then we were launched into "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" which is a wonderful song. And honestly this is what put me over the edge. Up front strumming his guitar just to get thru the song and singing as quickly as he could, was my friend.

Two years ago my friend was a funny outgoing hopeful person. Then he got a job at a church. Systematically his humor, joy, peace, and hopefulness where taken from him. The man standing on that stage Easter Sunday was a shell of my friend with his Sunday smile firmly planted on his face. I have steadily grown angrier and angrier at the church and people who would do this to a person. Easter Sunday was the catalyst for all these feelings. Just like my friend, the video took Christ, a man of sorrows, healing, pain, anger, love and grace, the most complex and wonderful being to ever walk the face of this earth, and stripped away all this, leaving him a utility belt and cape.

Christ was not a firefighter who saved 3 kids, or a cop who took a bullet for his partner. He was not a mere mortal that did something above and beyond the daily duty therefore attaining hero status with a parade and medals on his jacket. And above all, on the cross he did not think of me.

Christ was God incarnate, Emmanuel- with us. He did what was his chosen duty and in fact laid down every strength he had to become weak and then die. He didnt go above and beyond. He went down and so far below himself that I cannot even fathom it.

The word hero, just like the word freedom, has lost so much of its meaning in recent history. Everyone is a frickin hero anymore, even if they are just doing their job sometimes. TV shows, documentaries, T-shirt vendors they all profit off this idea.

Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Abe Lincoln are all admirable men, and maybe they are heros, but Christ is not comparable to them nor are they comparable to Christ.

Im sorry but I refuse to make Christ a hero.

He is a savior, a king, the morning star. I can worship a Savior, not a hero.